Miss You

My mom died when I was five. Of cancer. It's impossible for me to articulate how it's affected me, but it's profound. Sometimes I marvel at how much it hits me–to miss someone I never really knew so much. I know I'm not alone here though. I once had a friend, a best friend who has since slipped away, whose mom also died when she was five. We didn't talk about it much, but acknowledged and just knew that we were affected in the same way.

I've been thinking about her a lot today. Her grave is in another country, so I don't get to visit her nearly as much as I'd like to, but I'm going there over the holidays, so I'll have my once every 3-5 years chance. And I'll get to hang out with my aunt, who was her best friend. And try to learn about who she was, a task I've been undertaking for the past 29 years. I have a feeling this isn't the most eloquent post, but I'm somewhat distraught, so I believe I have license.

Anyway, I miss you, Mom. Still do, always will. Hope you can see me from wherever you are. Hope you're proud (at least mostly proud). See you in a few weeks. Love you.