HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I'm not one who really gets introspective about the past year as it's ending, so I've got few thoughts on that.
I'm about to go to a party with a bunch of old people, where I'll probably be the spring chicken of the bunch. There will be a live band playing Latin music. And dancing. I like Latin music, but not really for NYE. So, as I'm here in my hotel room getting ready, I'm listening to my favorite album of the year, LCD Soundsystem's This Is Happening. This album blows my mind, as did their concert.
Maybe take this New Year's Eve as an opportunity to dance yourself clean and start the new year all fresh. Have fun, kiddos.
xx,
TP

Hasta Pronto!

Hi, lovely readers. I'm about to take off for my holiday vacation abroad. Pretty sure there's not going to be much time for blogging (maybe there won't be much internet access either). Hope you all have a great holiday and a happy New Year.
See you in 2011!
xx

The OB Tampon Mystery of 2010

Hopefully I'm not alienating any male readers I may have here, but the plot thickens (see the second half of a previous post for the beginning of the story). I've been doing a little googling, and it turns out that the whole country is out of OB tampons. I learned this reading Carey Goldberg's article for WBUR. According to her article, Johnson & Johnson is saying it's just a manufacturing issue. But they're not saying much else. I commented on her article and it printed my full name (egads!), so I emailed her to fix it and we got to chatting a little. She is a bit suspicious and now I am too. Given all the trouble that Johnson & Johnson has been in lately, it's hard not to think that there might be something shady going on with yet another one of their products. I'll keep you posted!

Please Support My Friend

Well, way more than just any old friend. A very dear friend. He thinks it's cheating, but I've noticed that you can vote from multiple computers and that you can vote once every 24 hours, so help him out. He's really good at both the "broke" part and "artist" part. It's a three month residency program and your votes count in the final judging. Help him get worse at being broke and better at being an artist (though I think he's already pretty damn good). Vote here. Do it now, do it tomorrow, do it the next day, do it from your phone.

Below is a small sample and here's his website. Thanks!

So Glad I'm Not a Teenager Right Now

Before I get started on the meat of this post, let me say that this is my first time actually posting in my pajamas! I thought it was worth noting.

Anyway, to get to the point. I'm not saying I'm glad I'm not a teenager right now because being a teenager sucks. I have heard that it does from a number of people, but it didn't for me. The reason I'm glad I'm not a teenager right now is because of technology—the internet, mainly—and all the trouble that that injects into adolescence. I won't even get started with Facebook and people being publicly catty and mean towards each other. That's just a nightmare, plain and simple. I'm talking about the chronicling of everyday activities that ends up on the internet. Have you guys seen Miley Cyrus taking bong hits? If not, check it out (or just watch it again for fun):



When I saw this video, the first thing I thought (well, actually, the second. The first thing I thought was, "Why are they listening to Bush? I was listening to Bush when I was that age and that band isn't good enough to stand the test of time.") was, "Aw, man, to be a teenager again. That looks so fun!!!"

And people are giving her shit. And her dad is tweeting, yes, tweeting, his disappointment in her. What the fuck has happened to people?!

I mean, come on, people! She's 18! MANY of us did worse shit younger. AND, she's in a house that she probably paid for! She even claims that she's smoking salvia (which is legal), so she's not even breaking the law (even though I think she's probably lying).

We took a lot of incriminating photos of one another in high school, but those were the days of film! Someone once took a picture of Gaby and me smoking a huge joint (how did we afford such huge joints in high school?) in her garage, when her parents were out of town, with her parents' camera, apparently. These pictures then got developed, along with the other pix on the film roll, which were of a family celebration. Her parents obviously saw them. Her parents that I'd known for ages, that my parents were friends with. But nothing happened. She got in trouble, but they never told my parents (as far as I know). They probably thought of me as a bad seed, but that's it. Wasn't on the internet for the world to see. We kept it all in the neighborhood.

****************************
And here's another reason I'm glad I'm not a teenager these days: they seem so bored with life. I am a user of OB tampons (I promise this is relevant). I prefer them because they're easier to transport and better for the environment than tampons with applicators. I am running out, so went to the store to get some. They were out. So I went to another store. Same story. And another. And another. Why is everyone out of this particular kind of tampon?!?!? Having spent the majority of my life studying drug use (academically [and yes, in my personal life too—that joke is so old I fell off my dinosaur last time I heard it]), I immediately thought, "There must be some illicit way to use these tampons that I don't know about" (see my tweets for proof!). I shared this thought with my brother and we joked about dissolving cocaine in water and dipping tampons in them and shoving them up your nose and various other ridiculous ways to get high with tampons.

Then I got home and told my roommate about the mysterious shortage of OBs and my theory about illicit uses and she said, "Oh, you don't know?" And then proceeds to tell me that high school kids these days DIP OB TAMPONS IN ALCOHOL AND SHOVE THEM UP THEIR BUTTS TO GET WASTED. What ever happened to plain old drinking? Are they in that much of a hurry? Last time I checked, Everclear shots got you drunk pretty fast. Is that just too boring? She also told me that they put VODKA IN THEIR EYES. What is wrong with the youth of today???

I texted my brother the news about the tampon. Here's our conversation:

Him: Yeah... bypasses the liver. Do we really need to get inventive with drinking?
Me: It's still going to your liver though. She also told me that kids put vodka in their eyes.
Him: Can't talk. Smoking a joint with my armpit.

Then I went out to a bar and drank a couple of glasses of wine. With my mouth.

Miss You

My mom died when I was five. Of cancer. It's impossible for me to articulate how it's affected me, but it's profound. Sometimes I marvel at how much it hits me–to miss someone I never really knew so much. I know I'm not alone here though. I once had a friend, a best friend who has since slipped away, whose mom also died when she was five. We didn't talk about it much, but acknowledged and just knew that we were affected in the same way.

I've been thinking about her a lot today. Her grave is in another country, so I don't get to visit her nearly as much as I'd like to, but I'm going there over the holidays, so I'll have my once every 3-5 years chance. And I'll get to hang out with my aunt, who was her best friend. And try to learn about who she was, a task I've been undertaking for the past 29 years. I have a feeling this isn't the most eloquent post, but I'm somewhat distraught, so I believe I have license.

Anyway, I miss you, Mom. Still do, always will. Hope you can see me from wherever you are. Hope you're proud (at least mostly proud). See you in a few weeks. Love you.

This Aging Thing Won't Stop Happening!

I'm 33. Almost 34. So far in life, I've achieved one major professional goal: never having to buy/wear a business suit. I kind of dress like a bum, which generally means not dressing my age. This is not to say I'm wearing daisy dukes or belly shirts (you're welcome), but I dress pretty casually and I'm pretty sure that's why people tend to guess I'm 23-26.
Despite the outward appearance, I frequently find myself thinking or saying something and then thinking/saying, "oh my god. I'm old. I just sounded like my mom (or dad)." At lunch today, I saw a kid, early 20s?, wearing a shirt that said, simply, "PARTY WITH SLUTS." I fought the urge to ask him how that shirt was working out for him. Then I thought, "Wait, what if that actually works with the girls these days?" I'm not saying that girls now are sluttier--most everyone I know has had their day--but maybe now they advertise it? We were a little more discreet (one friend explained, "I'm not a slut, just slutty."). My next thought was, "your mother must be so proud."
So yeah, I'm old. I like the wisdom aspect. Otherwise, I'm kicking and screaming my way to higher digits.

It's Just Fairness Y'all. That's All

Somehow lately I've been reading a lot of gay blogs. I guess probably because I have the same social and political leanings as these guys. Saw this today on Joe.My.God (also, excellent blog title!). It makes me crazy that gay marriage is even an issue, that homophobia exists. I have a general life rule that I don't really give a fuck what you do as long as you're not hurting anyone doing it. Why are we getting into people's business? Why are we taking away (well, never really giving in the first place) civil rights? Based on attraction? That seems like the least important thing. Anyway, this guy says it pretty damn well. (Sorry that it's bleeding over. I have to work on some formatting stuff. Another day!)



UPDATE: Civil unions passed in Illinois! Yay!
Still not marriage though :(

Quitter

Ok. So last night when I agreed to do that reverb thing, I wasn't really paying attention. I was too sleepy! Anyway, upon further inspection, I've realized it's a thing for writers. I don't consider myself a writer. And it's asking me to reflect upon my year a lot, which is mildly annoying. I don't have a problem with that idea generally, but I don't really want to do it every day and I don't want to do it in the manner they ask me to. It's homework,  you see. Which would be fine. If I was trying to sharpen my writing skills. Which I'm not. So I'm quitting! Dropping out, one entry in. Hell, half an entry in.
I think what I'll post here instead will (hopefully) be more entertaining for you anyway.
(sorry Jane!)

Reverb

Jane Donuts encouraged me to sign up for this reverb thing. I'll explain later and add links and all that, but I'm supposed to do something every day and the day is almost over and i really want to go to bed NOW, so I'm doing today's kinda cheap and will expound later.
I'm supposed to describe the past year in one word. That word is: change.
Then I'm supposed to explain that, but that would make bed that much further away, so I'll do that later.
Then I'm supposed to describe what I'd like 2011 to be like. Joy. More later.
xx

I Love These

Still haven't thought of anything to write about, so I'll probably post some stuff from the interwebs for a while. Here are these. I love them. From BoingBoing.

Buy 'em here.
Ok, that just made me think of something. I don't think girls grow up thinking they can do these things. I guess that's not an original idea (obviously, there are posters about it). I love these posters, but it's sad they're necessary. Somehow, I escaped the whole thinking-I-was-less-than part of childhood and adolescence. I'm glad, because it sounds like it sucked/sucks. I don't know if it was because I grew up with a mom that made more than my dad or because my dad was a major taskmaster and frankly didn't give a shit if it was me or my brother doing the dishes or mowing the lawn or jamming chewed Juicy Fruit into mole hills (long story). So just treat girls like normal people. Like they can do anything. Like they should do anything. Then they wouldn't need these posters. Even though they're really cute.