1. Drank a double almond milk latte. It's the first double coffee drink I've ever had. I've had less than 15 coffee drinks in my entire life.
2. Poked about 30 holes in my scalp with a lancet.
3. Sipped ice water and let it hang out in my mouth so that it would freeze my gums.
All of these things make your blood vessels constrict. Vasoconstriction means that the vessels don't press on the surrounding tissues, which is what makes your head hurt.
4. Laid in my bed in my underwear in front of the fan. (That's just something I enjoy doing on these hot days.)
So far, so good!
I'm trying not to take medicine!!!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Saturday, August 4, 2012
I'm So Sleepy
I get migraines. Fancy people call me a migraineur, which is a word I'd use too if I knew how to pronounce it. I've had them since I was young. 13? 15? I don't remember. I read an article in the New York Times once about how migraines in children are manifested as stomach issues (there are neurons in your GI tract—no lie!), in which case I've been getting migraines since I was in elementary school. I just dealt and cried in pain until I was about 20, at which point I realized there were doctors and medicine for this. Life changing.
The medicine I've always taken is abortive, meaning that you take it when you get a migraine and it (usually) knocks it out. This medicine generally has some weird side effects (metallic taste in mouth, tingling fingers, extreme sensitivity to heat in finger tips) that I'm willing to overlook because when you weigh out "no migraine vs. inability to do dishes for the rest of the day," side effects become pretty unimportant.
I started getting more migraines, so my super awesome neurologist (I'm not saying that ironically, he really is the best doctor I've ever had) suggested maybe some daily preventive medicine. I'm not really that into the idea of taking anything on a daily basis, but I went ahead with it. My options were a low dose of an anti-seizure medication or a low dose of an anti-depressant. Side effects of the first one include possible weight loss, side effects of the second include possible weight gain. I chose the former.
This was a few years ago, but that medication was magical. I went on a bit of a bender one night (the night of the Latvian) and was right as rain the next day. Miraculous! But then that medication started giving me... let's just say not awesome gastrointestinal side effects. So I stopped.
Two months ago, I went back to Dr. Awesome and he suggested I give the other one a shot (I've been pretty migrainey lately). I went on it, and it worked. Yay! And then about five weeks ago, I noticed that I would get light headed nearly every time I stood up. Whiting out, having to grab onto a wall so I didn't fall over. I got an acupuncture treatment at school and they noted how fast my pulse was (like, 109 at one doctor's appointment). Then I kept noticing that. And then I started getting palpitations. Went to Dr. Awesome and my GP, a bunch of tests, I'm not anemic, I'm not hypoglycemic, I don't have hemochromatosis (THANK GOD). But even after all of this, three doctors told me that they didn't think it was that medicine. Even though, when I googled said medicine, ALL of my symptoms were at the top of the "if you have any of these serious side effects, let your doctor know immediately" list. Luckily my GP agreed with me and now I'm off that medication.
My pulse is slowing down, I'm having fewer white outs. So grateful. At one point, one doctor suggested I might need a pacemaker, so I'm really glad that is not the current state of my life. I haven't gotten any migraines (yet). But what I'm realizing, oh so painfully, is that that medicine really helped me sleep. And now I'm not sleeping. And I'm so, so tired. I'm taking some Tylenol PM tonight, to catch up, but then I'm going to make a commitment to get acupuncture treatments on the regular. Because, like a lot of Western doctors, I'm a terrible patient and have been terribly non-compliant. Wish me luck.
The medicine I've always taken is abortive, meaning that you take it when you get a migraine and it (usually) knocks it out. This medicine generally has some weird side effects (metallic taste in mouth, tingling fingers, extreme sensitivity to heat in finger tips) that I'm willing to overlook because when you weigh out "no migraine vs. inability to do dishes for the rest of the day," side effects become pretty unimportant.
I started getting more migraines, so my super awesome neurologist (I'm not saying that ironically, he really is the best doctor I've ever had) suggested maybe some daily preventive medicine. I'm not really that into the idea of taking anything on a daily basis, but I went ahead with it. My options were a low dose of an anti-seizure medication or a low dose of an anti-depressant. Side effects of the first one include possible weight loss, side effects of the second include possible weight gain. I chose the former.
This was a few years ago, but that medication was magical. I went on a bit of a bender one night (the night of the Latvian) and was right as rain the next day. Miraculous! But then that medication started giving me... let's just say not awesome gastrointestinal side effects. So I stopped.
Two months ago, I went back to Dr. Awesome and he suggested I give the other one a shot (I've been pretty migrainey lately). I went on it, and it worked. Yay! And then about five weeks ago, I noticed that I would get light headed nearly every time I stood up. Whiting out, having to grab onto a wall so I didn't fall over. I got an acupuncture treatment at school and they noted how fast my pulse was (like, 109 at one doctor's appointment). Then I kept noticing that. And then I started getting palpitations. Went to Dr. Awesome and my GP, a bunch of tests, I'm not anemic, I'm not hypoglycemic, I don't have hemochromatosis (THANK GOD). But even after all of this, three doctors told me that they didn't think it was that medicine. Even though, when I googled said medicine, ALL of my symptoms were at the top of the "if you have any of these serious side effects, let your doctor know immediately" list. Luckily my GP agreed with me and now I'm off that medication.
My pulse is slowing down, I'm having fewer white outs. So grateful. At one point, one doctor suggested I might need a pacemaker, so I'm really glad that is not the current state of my life. I haven't gotten any migraines (yet). But what I'm realizing, oh so painfully, is that that medicine really helped me sleep. And now I'm not sleeping. And I'm so, so tired. I'm taking some Tylenol PM tonight, to catch up, but then I'm going to make a commitment to get acupuncture treatments on the regular. Because, like a lot of Western doctors, I'm a terrible patient and have been terribly non-compliant. Wish me luck.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
A Little Oz Lesson
Do you ever have a crush on someone who's from somewhere else and then learn a lot about that place because of it? For example, I once hooked up with a Latvian guy and learned that all men's names in Latvia end in an S and all women's names end in ___ (I forgot). And then, while the guy was sleeping, I did some internet research to learn more about Latvia so I wouldn't look like a total idiot. Mainly, I found out where it was (pretty close to Scandinavia). He talked in his sleep, so I also learned that Latvian is a crazy sounding language. I guess I didn't really learn that much about Latvia, but it was more than I knew before.
I currently have an ill-advised crush on an Australian. It was initially only sort of ill-advised because, after three dates, he went back to Australia for various work and family reasons for 2.5 months. Now it's really ill-advised because in the meantime, he got a job on a project there and now won't be back til January. Story of my life. Another story of my life is liking guys that live very far away. The last guy was in London. I didn't really think I'd be able to exceed that, but I have. Aussie and I are not dating, though. We are occasionally emailing with tentative plans to hang out when he gets back. But that is a long time from now, so who knows. He is on my brain a lot though because he is seriously the first FUNNY guy I've hung out with since The Ex. That's about five or six years, people. I have been waiting five or six years to laugh like this! On our second date, he did the worm for me. I was smitten. But yeah, only three dates to go on here, so I have to remind myself that that's not enough for a fully informed opinion of someone. However, I continue to crush.
I'm not actually trying to do any research on Australia, I just keep seeing things about the country/continent and they've been popping out at me now that I've got Z on my mind. And some of them have really boggled my mind to the extent that I've asked him about them. But then I try not to ask too much because I don't want it to seem like I'm internet stalking Australia/him.
Z is from Melbourne (my good friend Jane Donuts, who hates Australians, said, "At least he's not from Sydney." I have no idea what that means. But I will say that I think every single person that I've talked to about Z has done a "groan, Australia" kind of thing. What's wrong with Australia/ns??? They're so nice! [One friend said they're "right up there with the Swedes," followed by a quizzical look from me and then, "in terms of fucking" and then something about Australians inventing the term spit roasting or something].) Anyway, whatever, Australia-haters! There are a lot of cool things that come from Australia! For example:
I'm sorry, but WHAT THE FUCK?! Is that real?!?!?!? I haven't asked Z in an attempt to play it cool/sane. But come on! Also, do kangaroos just sit there like that when you walk up to them? And aren't they MUCH bigger?
And there was something else, but now I've forgotten. This is one of those blog posts that was better in my head I think.
I currently have an ill-advised crush on an Australian. It was initially only sort of ill-advised because, after three dates, he went back to Australia for various work and family reasons for 2.5 months. Now it's really ill-advised because in the meantime, he got a job on a project there and now won't be back til January. Story of my life. Another story of my life is liking guys that live very far away. The last guy was in London. I didn't really think I'd be able to exceed that, but I have. Aussie and I are not dating, though. We are occasionally emailing with tentative plans to hang out when he gets back. But that is a long time from now, so who knows. He is on my brain a lot though because he is seriously the first FUNNY guy I've hung out with since The Ex. That's about five or six years, people. I have been waiting five or six years to laugh like this! On our second date, he did the worm for me. I was smitten. But yeah, only three dates to go on here, so I have to remind myself that that's not enough for a fully informed opinion of someone. However, I continue to crush.
I'm not actually trying to do any research on Australia, I just keep seeing things about the country/continent and they've been popping out at me now that I've got Z on my mind. And some of them have really boggled my mind to the extent that I've asked him about them. But then I try not to ask too much because I don't want it to seem like I'm internet stalking Australia/him.
Z is from Melbourne (my good friend Jane Donuts, who hates Australians, said, "At least he's not from Sydney." I have no idea what that means. But I will say that I think every single person that I've talked to about Z has done a "groan, Australia" kind of thing. What's wrong with Australia/ns??? They're so nice! [One friend said they're "right up there with the Swedes," followed by a quizzical look from me and then, "in terms of fucking" and then something about Australians inventing the term spit roasting or something].) Anyway, whatever, Australia-haters! There are a lot of cool things that come from Australia! For example:
- INXS. So many times lately, I've been scrolling through my iPod, past the Is, thinking, "God! Again! I want to listen to INXS again!" This pre-dated meeting Z, so I feel okay (albeit kind of weird) about it. I just put on some INXS, btw. Don't Change is for real one of the best pop songs ever.
- Crowded House. LOVED this band when I was a wee lass. Especially this song. They're from Melbourne! This singer is actually a Kiwi, but there are Aussies in the band.
- Obnoxious Owl. My girl Kasey pointed me to this blog a while ago. Then I fell off and today I checked her out again while I was supposed to be studying. Learned that she's in Melbourne. But that she's actually not Australian (I don't know where she's from. UPDATE: She's South African). I like this girl's style. She's funny and visually bonkers. I love reading her blog. Also her advice for guys is spot-on. Read it!
- Vegemite. Just kidding. That shit's gross (yes, I've tried it).
- Cut Copy. Also from Melbourne. That city sounds fun!
- Koala bears. Duh.
- That teenager that had that crazy rager. In person, I'd probably want to punch him and teach him grammar, but, half a world away, he's pretty entertaining. Don't watch too much of this video because it gets annoying. Also that newscaster needs to be shot.
- ***OMG That guy is from Melbourne too!!!!
So anyway, some of the mildy mind-boggling things about Australia:
- In this article, discussing the case of the "the dingo ate my baby" woman, the Australian author says, "This was the 1980's, when we still called Australian indigenous people "aborigines"..." Wait, what?! Isn't that what we still call them? I was a bit terrified of having been accidentally offensive, so I did ask Z about this one. He said Indigenous Australian is the correct term (duh, guess I should have figured that one out!), but he said aborigine is also fine.
- Then I saw this, randomly.
I'm sorry, but WHAT THE FUCK?! Is that real?!?!?!? I haven't asked Z in an attempt to play it cool/sane. But come on! Also, do kangaroos just sit there like that when you walk up to them? And aren't they MUCH bigger?
And there was something else, but now I've forgotten. This is one of those blog posts that was better in my head I think.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
I Saw a Stranger's Balls Yesterday
Good title for my re-debut (not a word), don't you think? Eye-catching! Mysterious! Etc.!
So yeah, I've been gone for a while. I'm not even going to try to fill you in on what's been happening since my last post. Let's just jump right into things.
I believe I have mentioned that I'm in acupuncture school now (it's great!). Yesterday I went to go intern with/shadow this extremely skilled acupuncturist who came to speak at one of my classes. This guy made a strong impression on me. While outwardly I'm not very dramatic, my inner dialogue can sometimes be a bit hyperbolic. My thoughts about this guy were, "This man is going to change my life," and "This man is going to make me cry every time I talk to him." The former because he's amazing (he's found 13 tumors that MDs have missed!), the latter because he himself is prone to crying when talking about emotional things and I can't not cry if someone's being sincerely emotional and weepy. Then I talked to him on the phone a bit to schedule the whole thing and he scared me a little bit. He said the three rules were 1) have fun, 2) learn, and 3) no leaning. I LEAN ALL THE TIME.
I went out to the Valley and... I just realized this story could be really long and you probably don't want to hear the minutiae, so let me just get straight to the nuts.
Usually when you have a first time patient, you talk to them a little bit, figure out what you're going to do, and then tell them to change into a gown or some shorts or whatever. Dr. M. was seeing one of his patient's boyfriends for knee pain for the first time. We walked into the room and dude was already stripped down to his boxers, ready to go. They weren't really ballooning boxers, but neither were they boxer briefs. Kind of short, loose ones. With those red London double-decker buses on them. Dr. M. went to work, testing this guy's range of motion and flexibility. I kept moving around, trying to stay out of the way and get a good look. When I moved down to the guy's feet, I got a way better look than I meant to.
It's weird seeing someone's balls when you aren't expecting it. Also, I, like most girls, don't really pay attention to balls a lot. I mean, I try to pay attention to whether or not a dude likes his balls played with and in what manner (in my experience, this varies A LOT), but if some testes/scrotum pair committed a crime and I was forced to identify them in a line up, I would fail miserably. But when you accidentally see someone's balls, they're sort of seared in your mind. Also, it's hard to act natural. My first instinct was to whip my head in the other direction, but then I realized that I was supposed to be watching, so I looked back and just tried to not let my eyes wander. Did he know I could see his nuts? Was it drafty? He didn't seem to mind.
Enough about the balls though. Dr. M. and I hung out til 10 pm! He rules! He's part mentor, part teacher, part shrink, and part dude friend. I usually have one or two straight male friends that I talk to about guys (and they talk to me about girls). Kind of nitty gritty details, if you know what I mean. I only have 0.5 such friends at the moment. Felipe (not his name!) is only half of one because he has a GF now and you kind of have to tone down that sort of thing when you're involved (Felipe would maybe deny he has a GF, but sorry, man, that's pretty much what's going on :) Anyway, Dr. M and I talked about me and then talked about him (he's 55 and recently separated). I should also note that he's a cool man and does not seem like he's 55. He used to hang out with David Bowie and Led Zeppelin! He also told me two stories about guys that were the old guys hanging out with the young girls back in the day and how he's seen BOTH of those men recently and now they're REALLY old and still with younger women (who are in their 40s now). This is one of those guys. Dr. M. is paranoid about being one of these creepy lecherous men, but he's kind of more on the same wavelength as somewhat significantly younger women (I'm saying this; he would probably not say such a thing). Anyway, he's trying to find his way and learn about dating again. He had a flirty text conversation the other day for the first time ever. He was marveling over it. It was cute.
Then he took me to a Chamber of Commerce mixer! I exclaim this because I never thought I'd ever be at a Chamber of Commerce mixer. But there I was and he bought a bottle of wine for the two of us to split. My kind of acupuncturist (I get a lot of shit at school for both my food and booze consumption habits). I hate mingling, BTW, so this was in a way a total nightmare, but half a bottle of wine helped! I just sat in my stool as various weird old men made conversation/hit on me. Also one young (29) guy in a suit. Suits are kinda my kryptonite. Nice slim cut suit at a wedding=hot. Ill-cut suit you're wearing because you just got out of your financial planner job=not hot.
I'm pretty certain all these guys thought I was fucking Dr. M. I could see how people would think that, but he and I almost kind of basically [LOL, nice writing, Tammy] had a conversation about that not happening. Um, that sounds weird, it wasn't that explicit. But we had conversations about people we should not sleep with. I'm glossing over things a bit here, but suffice it to say that I think we're on the same page of mutual admiration but not wanting to touch (or resisting any temptation to touch) the other's privates.
Then we went to his house to feed the stray cats that his ex-wife used to feed. His house is full—FULL—of roosters* because he was born in the year of the rooster. Insert cock joke here. He showed me his closets and I pointed out some shirts that he should never wear if he was going to try to date young, hip women. I was feeling pretty comfortable at this point. Then we went back to his office and I got my shit and left, sort of luxuriating in what a great day it had been and how I'd found another great mentor (already have one!) and new friend. And then I got out of my car to walk to my apartment, looked up in the sky, and saw a shooting star.
THE END :)
* Not live roosters! Figurines and such.
So yeah, I've been gone for a while. I'm not even going to try to fill you in on what's been happening since my last post. Let's just jump right into things.
I believe I have mentioned that I'm in acupuncture school now (it's great!). Yesterday I went to go intern with/shadow this extremely skilled acupuncturist who came to speak at one of my classes. This guy made a strong impression on me. While outwardly I'm not very dramatic, my inner dialogue can sometimes be a bit hyperbolic. My thoughts about this guy were, "This man is going to change my life," and "This man is going to make me cry every time I talk to him." The former because he's amazing (he's found 13 tumors that MDs have missed!), the latter because he himself is prone to crying when talking about emotional things and I can't not cry if someone's being sincerely emotional and weepy. Then I talked to him on the phone a bit to schedule the whole thing and he scared me a little bit. He said the three rules were 1) have fun, 2) learn, and 3) no leaning. I LEAN ALL THE TIME.
I went out to the Valley and... I just realized this story could be really long and you probably don't want to hear the minutiae, so let me just get straight to the nuts.
Usually when you have a first time patient, you talk to them a little bit, figure out what you're going to do, and then tell them to change into a gown or some shorts or whatever. Dr. M. was seeing one of his patient's boyfriends for knee pain for the first time. We walked into the room and dude was already stripped down to his boxers, ready to go. They weren't really ballooning boxers, but neither were they boxer briefs. Kind of short, loose ones. With those red London double-decker buses on them. Dr. M. went to work, testing this guy's range of motion and flexibility. I kept moving around, trying to stay out of the way and get a good look. When I moved down to the guy's feet, I got a way better look than I meant to.
It's weird seeing someone's balls when you aren't expecting it. Also, I, like most girls, don't really pay attention to balls a lot. I mean, I try to pay attention to whether or not a dude likes his balls played with and in what manner (in my experience, this varies A LOT), but if some testes/scrotum pair committed a crime and I was forced to identify them in a line up, I would fail miserably. But when you accidentally see someone's balls, they're sort of seared in your mind. Also, it's hard to act natural. My first instinct was to whip my head in the other direction, but then I realized that I was supposed to be watching, so I looked back and just tried to not let my eyes wander. Did he know I could see his nuts? Was it drafty? He didn't seem to mind.
Enough about the balls though. Dr. M. and I hung out til 10 pm! He rules! He's part mentor, part teacher, part shrink, and part dude friend. I usually have one or two straight male friends that I talk to about guys (and they talk to me about girls). Kind of nitty gritty details, if you know what I mean. I only have 0.5 such friends at the moment. Felipe (not his name!) is only half of one because he has a GF now and you kind of have to tone down that sort of thing when you're involved (Felipe would maybe deny he has a GF, but sorry, man, that's pretty much what's going on :) Anyway, Dr. M and I talked about me and then talked about him (he's 55 and recently separated). I should also note that he's a cool man and does not seem like he's 55. He used to hang out with David Bowie and Led Zeppelin! He also told me two stories about guys that were the old guys hanging out with the young girls back in the day and how he's seen BOTH of those men recently and now they're REALLY old and still with younger women (who are in their 40s now). This is one of those guys. Dr. M. is paranoid about being one of these creepy lecherous men, but he's kind of more on the same wavelength as somewhat significantly younger women (I'm saying this; he would probably not say such a thing). Anyway, he's trying to find his way and learn about dating again. He had a flirty text conversation the other day for the first time ever. He was marveling over it. It was cute.
Then he took me to a Chamber of Commerce mixer! I exclaim this because I never thought I'd ever be at a Chamber of Commerce mixer. But there I was and he bought a bottle of wine for the two of us to split. My kind of acupuncturist (I get a lot of shit at school for both my food and booze consumption habits). I hate mingling, BTW, so this was in a way a total nightmare, but half a bottle of wine helped! I just sat in my stool as various weird old men made conversation/hit on me. Also one young (29) guy in a suit. Suits are kinda my kryptonite. Nice slim cut suit at a wedding=hot. Ill-cut suit you're wearing because you just got out of your financial planner job=not hot.
I'm pretty certain all these guys thought I was fucking Dr. M. I could see how people would think that, but he and I almost kind of basically [LOL, nice writing, Tammy] had a conversation about that not happening. Um, that sounds weird, it wasn't that explicit. But we had conversations about people we should not sleep with. I'm glossing over things a bit here, but suffice it to say that I think we're on the same page of mutual admiration but not wanting to touch (or resisting any temptation to touch) the other's privates.
Then we went to his house to feed the stray cats that his ex-wife used to feed. His house is full—FULL—of roosters* because he was born in the year of the rooster. Insert cock joke here. He showed me his closets and I pointed out some shirts that he should never wear if he was going to try to date young, hip women. I was feeling pretty comfortable at this point. Then we went back to his office and I got my shit and left, sort of luxuriating in what a great day it had been and how I'd found another great mentor (already have one!) and new friend. And then I got out of my car to walk to my apartment, looked up in the sky, and saw a shooting star.
THE END :)
* Not live roosters! Figurines and such.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Dangers of Online Dating—UPDATE
When I wrote this post almost a year ago, I didn't think I was writing a PSA. But since then, FIVE people—including my roommate!—have responded to the post saying that they too were approached by this guy. I'm glad this little blog popped up when their bullshit meters caused them to do some Googling. So,
* Chris Ficher
* Coastal_Life81
* New Torontonian
* Whatever else you're calling yourself these days
we're on to you!
Stop telling us about your imaginary 11-inch dick!
p.s. Yeah, I haven't blogged in ages and this post is kind of lame, but I really needed you guys to know that other people have come forward. This guy is a prolific, serial talk about his fake penis-er!
* Chris Ficher
* Coastal_Life81
* New Torontonian
* Whatever else you're calling yourself these days
we're on to you!
Stop telling us about your imaginary 11-inch dick!
p.s. Yeah, I haven't blogged in ages and this post is kind of lame, but I really needed you guys to know that other people have come forward. This guy is a prolific, serial talk about his fake penis-er!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Penis Pictures
There are a lot of dudes sending around penis pictures these days, as if that's something women want. I'm not even gonna bother linking anything here, because I'm you've all read a million articles about this lately (here's another one!). I once had a boyfriend send me a picture of his penis. His laptop was on his lap and he was looking at pictures of me (nekkid). That was mildly flattering I guess, but I still didn't really want to see it. I deleted it.
A year or two later, I was talking to a male friend about how no girl wants a penis picture and I told him what I wrote above. He said he's sent the exact same picture to a girl he was seeing once. Here I thought my ex had been all original, but no. Just another way for guys to send shots of their dicks.
A year or two later, I was talking to a male friend about how no girl wants a penis picture and I told him what I wrote above. He said he's sent the exact same picture to a girl he was seeing once. Here I thought my ex had been all original, but no. Just another way for guys to send shots of their dicks.
A Weird Story
I'm getting a little permanent hair removal done. TMI, I know, but that detail is essential for this story. Anyway, I'm making small talk with the electrologist as she's shooting fire into my pores and ask her if anyone has ever requested that she remove hair from their heads. She said that one time a gay couple came in. They looked somewhat similar and were also dressed similarly. Her description actually brought to mind Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Both had buzzed hair, but one of them had the beginnings of some male pattern baldness going. The other wanted his head hair removed so that it matched the early balding of his boyfriend.
True story.
True story.
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